Our Lady's Message to Sr. Agnes on October 13, 1979
BREAKING: Remember Pope Leo XIII and his vision of demons rushing over the Eternal City, prompting the St. Michael Prayer? Well, it turns out Pope Francis has taken that story as inspiration. In an interview with Unamerican Magazine, he’s reported saying: “Satan’s minions have been unleashed. Why not join the party?”
Our dear Pope Francis, the mastermind behind such classics as “Promote the Pedophile,” "Pachamama Earth Mother Goddess: A Vatican Vacation,” "Eucharist Desecration: The Sequel," “Any Old Religion Will Do,” and “Abide in Biden,” has decided to kick things up a notch. He's like the Gordon Ramsay of papal pranks, always looking for ways to spice up the ecclesiastical menu.
Not content with controversial appointments and a sprinkle of synodal silliness, Pope Francis has decided that it's high time to add another courageous, faith-filled bishop to his list of dismissed divines. Move over, Bishop Olmsted and Archbishop Chaput; there's a new kid in town, or should we say, being banished from town. Bishop Joseph Strickland, you're up for the papal guillotine!
In this brave new world of canonical caprice, where doctrine moonwalks in the shadows of solemnity, it seems like anything goes. Popes used to be all about preserving tradition and guiding the flock, but now it's more like they're auditioning for a reality TV show. "You’re Retired!", anyone?
But wait, there's more! In a plot twist that even Machiavelli would envy, a completely obscure group of Catholic faithful in Toledo, Ohio, has thrown their miters into the ring. Armed with a solemn pledge by the Pope to smell like his sheep, empowered by synodal sass, they're calling for his resignation.
So, as we eagerly await Pope Francis's potential career change, we can't help but imagine the wondrous world of opportunities that lie ahead. Who knows? Maybe he'll open a chain of Vatican-themed restaurants, serving up holy cannoli and angelic lasagna. Or perhaps he'll become the world's foremost expert on papal fashion, hosting a Vatican-style makeover show.
Whatever the future holds for Pope Francis, one thing is certain: it's bound to be as entertaining as a Vatican catwalk show featuring cardinals in their most fabulous vestments. Until then, dear readers, keep your rosaries close and your popcorn closer. As we navigate this spiritual soap opera, remember that laughter is the best exorcism. We'll be here, sipping celestial cappuccinos and waiting to see what Pope Francis cooks up next in his papal potluck of surprises.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I wrote and released this because if we can't laugh, we'll cry. I am a devout Catholic. Which is to say, a sinner. Far from the mark. Daily in need of God's ever-loving, merciful, healing, transforming grace. I don't presume to erase that high mark just because I fall short! It is not revealed to bash, but to bless. It's revealed for my salvation in Jesus Christ. To that end, I greatly need clarity. Encouragement. Accompaniment. And the Sacraments of eternal life. Not confusion. Watering down. Diminishment. And I will continue to pray and fast for an outpouring of transforming, awakening grace upon Pope Francis, as well as all prelates, leaders, and lay people. God made us weak so we will seek. We share this journey. We were made for excellence. God didn't make us for less. Let's be about it. CatholicRevival.us
